Been Milky

 I find myself in this position often. This space of knowing and not knowing. Doing and not doing. Ruminating ideas and executing ideas. It's honestly so exhausting. A thought process like this has me wishing I was more of a type A person, but look, anyways... I'm talking to myself and telling myself to just fucking get it done before the baby wakes up! It feel like since I've taken my maternity leave, it's been non-stop. And actually, it's been non-stop even before my maternity leave, but with less income and more work. Ok life update: I decided to start my leave the three weeks before my estimated due date, which was on March 8th. Since my leave, Feb 13, I only really had one week before the baby came earthside and that week was BIZ-EEEEE. I was balancing, bills, finishing projects, prepping for an art show, shooting, pre-natal check ups, making sure I get my walk in, nesting, mom-ing, eating, and moving. I was on the go! Not complaining, I really don't know h...

After the pandemic, it’s been such a process,STILL , learning to incorporate how I want to express myself via internet. B.C.(Before Corona) and beginning of the shut down, I was so unhinged. I over- shared everything about my life for the sake of content, connecting, and constantly dumping. My way of coping then.  There were folks I thought I would ride through the pandemic with and make it to the other side, but tbh, a lot of MFS fell off and vice versa.  I changed.  Life humbled TF outta me. There were so many lessons and my biggest one was really understanding the true value in spending quality time with my daughters. Right when the pandemic hit, I was going through a custody battle and dealing with so much mentally then on top of that COVID. I had to really take a step back and get down to what I valued the most.  Fast forward to now, my favorite days are always planned yet spontaneous adventures with Isis and Akari. We went from birth class to In- n- out to Yerb...

Just like that, 9 years later, I'm pregnant, again! It's nothing like my first pregnancies. I'm a lot older, gained some emotional intelligence, and have put in a lot of work to be where I'm at today; emotionally, physically, and spiritually, alla the -ly's. Growing up is hella fun. I'm not trippin on shit I used to trip on and if I'm still trippin on something I been trippin on, I don't feel this huge burden or guilt. I'm a lot more honest with myself even if it's not what I want it to look like. Growing up is humbling and constant. Anyways, I'm rambling because it's nice to be back on this bitch blogging my lil heart out. Idk exactly why I'm doing this, but I know I'll be home with this new bb soon and I hope to be rambling while breastfeeding. xx, been milky